Mind games :(

Ok still having trouble signing into the blog as apparently they want me to stay as a “dashboard”….we will figure it out.

Anyways, I wanted to comment on some of Bruce’s latest posting regarding humility. Bruce wrote some really powerful things sprinkled throughout the entire post! I struggle with a lot of what he spoke about (sarcasm, how does everything affect ME first) but I also struggled with:

- placing expectations on others
- being judgmental of others with the simplest of tasks (because I could always do it better and faster ----EEWW!)
- thinking I can predict the future in knowing how others will react ( I must of thought I was pretty powerful!)
- shying away from situations because I think I know how they will react,
- coming up with 3 different scenarios on what I need to say based on how I think they may react.


Talk about confusing! There are tornados going on in this brain of mine and it is exhausting.
I am much better with this now, but I allowed such torment to continue with every interaction. I was so caught up in myself, that there was NO way I was ever able to truly listen to someone. I was always looking for ulterior motives and never really trusting what someone was saying. This is because I couldn’t conceive that anyone else wasn’t having the same kind of tornados going on in their head as well. One big game of defense. Pretty silly.


It has taken me a few years to piece all of this together and really narrowing it down to two things:
1. Getting out of myself
2. Trusting in others

“Getting out of myself” is going to be one long process, but as Bruce said the best remedy is giving to others. This is something I am just now starting to realize and embrace.